A photo my husband took of me on Christmas. I’m wearing a Wonder Woman t-shirt and holding a Batgirl comic and a Wonder Woman comic, both signed by Gail Simone
I decided to create a Substack - https://danielchooseslove.substack.com/ - where I am going to share all of the posts I post here on Daniel Chooses Love. That way, when Meta buries my links to this blog (which they absolutely have been doing) and you don’t see the posts on social media, anyone who subscribes to the Daniel Chooses Love Substack will get the posts directly to their email. I’m keeping the Substack free, I will not turn on paid subscriptions, so feel free to visit that link and subscribe if you’re interested.
Because I am not planning on reposting every old post from the blog into the Substack, I thought it might make sense to do a re-introduction to Daniel Chooses Love. I did an intro to the blog back when I relaunched it in December of 2023, but it occurs to me that a lot has changed in my life since then, and it might make sense to give everyone an idea of the purpose I see this blog having, and what it means to me.
Daniel Chooses Love was originally started in 2016 after the Pulse massacre in Orlando, Florida took place. I was determined to do something in response. I was angry, scared, frustrated, and feeling helpless, and I wanted to take some action. Suddenly it occurred to me that my drive in life up to that point had been to choose some sort of love in every situation, and I was going to take that to heart and explicitly make it my mission, and continue to do the work to understand exactly what “choose love” meant to me. I asked my husband Russ to write the words “Choose Love” in Sharpie and took his writing to a tattoo artist, where I promptly got it tattooed on my left wrist.
“Choose Love” has taken on a lot of different meanings since then. Sometimes it means choosing to fight for those who deserve to be treated with love and who are being mistreated. Sometimes it means having compassion for people who I don’t quite understand. Sometimes it means choosing to prioritize my own needs, to love myself, and to have boundaries when it’s appropriate. The whole “Choose Love” motto - which I understand some other organizations use as their slogan as well - was more about a way of directing my moral compass and the way I think about and interact with the world around me.
The blog has gone through a few iterations. I archived all of the posts and locked down the blog at one point because customers from my job were reading the blog and talking to me about it. The job I had at the time made me feel like privacy was essential, so DCL got archived. And honestly, I’m glad it did, because it gave me the chance to start fresh when the time came to get back to this kind of writing when my circumstances in life changed.
Since the relaunch in 2023, Daniel Chooses Love has started to become more and more like my LiveJournal was way back in the day. It’s the place I go to process what’s happening in my life, kind of taking on the form of a personal journal, but shared with those of you who choose to read it. I think there’s a certain level of validation that comes from sharing my process of coming to understand myself, and even though I am a fairly introverted person, the process of having people I love read what I write, discuss it with me, and incorporate what I write about into our interactions going forward helps me to understand myself even better, and grow into a fuller version of who I am becoming. I guess people really are social animals, because this iteration of Daniel Chooses Love has taught me that my growth really happens in community.
Because of the direction DCL has taken since December of 2023, my focus for the “Choose Love” motto has shifted to mostly being about choosing to love my community. The people who read this blog and take the time to engage with me about it have helped me become a much fuller, more fulfilled, healthier, happier person. I have grown so much because of the response to this blog. And the love I receive from the people who read it makes me feel even more affirmed in wanting to write about it.
With the current things that have been happening in our country, I’ve turned to this blog - and therapy - to process it all. I’ve also found that I’ve been relying heavily on my loved ones to process this all together. Since relaunching Daniel Chooses Love, I have found out that I meet the diagnostic criteria for both ADHD and Autism. I’ve also come to really embrace my understanding of myself as genderqueer/non-binary. Really, the majority of my writing here has been about understanding what makes me different, coming to really love those things that make me different, and being loved by the amazing people who read this blog for those things that make me different. And maybe also being able to love more fully because of those things. Now that we’re being told that what makes us different is what makes us “the problem”, I’m feeling even more emboldened to be the different person I am. Being loved for what makes me different has made me a stronger and better person, who is better able to love in return.
Going forward, as we face all of the chaos and bigotry and Lex Luthor-type crap we’re seeing, my mission is not only going to be to Choose Love, it’s also going to be choosing to love The Different. What makes you different - whether it’s your gender identity, your neurodivergence, your race, your religion, your disability, your immigration status, or even just the quirks of your personality - is what makes you amazing. I know it’s the stuff that I love about you, and that the other people in your life love about you too. Don’t be ashamed of what makes you different, and don’t feel like you have to apologize for it, and if people make you feel ashamed of what makes you different, they’re not your people. This blog has reminded me that the people who are really worth having in my life are the people who have celebrated all of my differences, and I am an immensely better, healthier, and happier person for those people and those celebrations - and for not letting the people who aren’t my people continue to try to shame me for my differences.
Thank you for loving me, and for celebrating what makes me different, and for giving me the privilege of being able to celebrate what makes you different. If you subscribe to the Substack, you should start seeing these posts in your email and/or the Substack app. And you’re always welcome to come see the posts here on the official blog. I have a bunch more blog post ideas percolating in my head, so look for those soon.